How Fluff Ball Came Home

Two years ago, Scout and Cully approached me with a request. My response was a definite No! Not a We’ll see kind of No, or a Maybe later kind of No, but a clear, emphatic, never-in-a-million-years-and-over-my-dead-body kind of No. From that time ‘til now the girls have engaged in a sustained campaign to achieve their goal which I have observed closely. Their approach and tactics are worth sharing.

Identify and engage allies

Their first move was to talk to other grown-ups (mums and dads of their friends) who they thought might be on their side, and to suggest that it would help their cause if those mums or dads advocated on their behalf. And so for a while comments were casually dropped into the conversation:  ‘Yes, it is a lot of work, but the rewards are huge’, or ‘It’s so good for kids, you really won’t regret it,’ or ‘It teaches them about being responsible and it’s totally worth it.’

Undertake research

When this didn’t work the girls embarked on a course of research, both via the internet and by interviewing relevant parties (aforementioned mums and dads). So, they drew up a list of  the characteristics that would most appeal to me; identified which variety might be best for our particular circumstances; and explored practical considerations like initial financial outlay and on-going costs (‘If we get one from here they are much cheaper, Mama, then it’s just food which doesn’t cost much at all’).

Clarify barriers and challenges

Yes, nice try girls and all very interesting, but the answer is still No.’ So tell us why?’ they said. ‘Tell us all the reasons you won’t let us,’ and then dashed off to get their iPads. So, while preparing the tuna pasta, I articulated my extremely long and very detailed list of objections which they duly recorded.

Present cogent solutions

Some weeks later they returned, iPads in hand, and presented their responses to each of my objections. They were thoughtful, intelligent and equally detailed. And they even included some additional points, like a bonus: ‘We’d spend much less time on electronics,’ and ‘We’d go for a walk every morning before school’.

Exploit weakness

They had basically taken down all my objections, but my life was completely chokkas and I still had no space for anything extra.  But in the middle of all this we go overseas for a holiday. I am away from home, relaxed, unburdened, and momentarily forgetful of the crazy existence I lead back home. They see this, sense it, and pick their moment carefully. I let down my guard for a nano-second: ’Look,’ I say, ‘we’ll talk about it on your birthdays,’ (a safe six months away). And in that moment I have lost, and they have won, and they know it.

Be persistent

All they have to do now is drop it into the conversation occasionally, and every now and again remind me of the positives, the advantages. They are careful not to overplay it, but they don’t let me forget either.

Timing is everything

And then we are at a friend’s house for a birthday BBQ and into the room pads the cutest ball of fluff on the planet. I am not smitten. Really, I am not. But the girls see the crack in my defenses and the battle is won.

‘Mama! Pleeease can we have a dog?’

OH! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, YES! YOU CAN HAVE A DOG!

Meet Fluff Ball. AKA ‘Cooper’.

 

 

 Jacqui Tomlins